I'm back in Winnipeg, where I haven't lived since I was 19. They kept the snow just for us, about a month later than normal. The girls enjoy exploring all the strange spring structures - water flowing down the edge of the street, ice levitating above the melted parts, piles of grit and dead leaves left over from last fall, shear ice where the puddles freeze overnight. They girls are adjusting. It's taking time, but it will come.
Cancer wise, I've been given a blow. The swelling, redness and dimpled skin I noticed before my first treatment mean it was inflammatory. That explains why the tumour grew so fast, but also makes my prognosis worse. Much worse. I will be having a mastectomy, possibly loosing more of my lymph nodes, radiation is pretty much guaranteed and there might even be another set of chemo once all of that is done. Can anyone recommend good headwrap instruction videos? It's going to be a long time before I again have hair, and my scalp is getting cold. It's also extremely bizarre to walk around with body parts I will no longer have in the fall.
The good signs: It's not in the lymph nodes they removed. The chemo made the swelling and skin symptoms disappear straight away. I am surrounded by people who want me well and plan to support me.
I plan to live, although I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared.
